Abner the Foster Cat
I've lost track a long time back as to how many animals I have fostered over the years. I somehow became the one who would take in the really sick ones or the ones that just needed that extra time and attention. Although I have memories of most all of our extended four legged family members who have each resided with me and my family from time to time, I am at a loss as to why (or how) one particular foster (over another) impacts me in such a different, deep and devastating way... That is the instance with Abner; one of my feline fosters whom silently passed over in his sleep while trying to battle an illness to which even the rescue vets could not identify. Up until his final hours, he was still loving, caring and outwardingly expressing his gratitude for the time, attention and love that we/he had shared. Abner came to us back in early May while on the brink of having to be euthanized by Animal Services. Abner had such severe upper respitory that Animal Services was not in a position to treat him for the illness, thus the reason they contacted PRBJ to offer him a second chance at life. Abner had to fight and he fought hard. I know it is all in retrospect now, however, I sat here earlier tonight and wondered if an injustice occurred when not allowed back in May to pass with the assistance of Animal Services BUT THEN tears come to my eyes truly out of my fondness for this particular feline. I cannot even imagine my life without having had the opportunity for Abner to make his mark in my memories. Abner would not have had the opportunity to touch my life in the way that he did and vica versa. I was not the only foster to have had the benefit of being touched by Abner's tenderness. Abner continued to climb an upward path; however, it has since been understood that what Abner did achieve was stable health, not good health. Let me tell you, however, Abner was fine with that ~ he found that fine line in life ~ and enjoyed every day while being with us. Abner had enough character to work his way into multiple hearts (both within and outside the walls of PRBJ). No one was bonded with Abner because of his illness, the bond was developed due to a mutual understanding (my presence makes you happy and your presence makes me happy). Even though I did not, I believe now that Abner knew last night when he said good night that his time was upon him. He made it a point to eat really well and I realize now what that strong rub up against my body ~ extra hard ~ really meant. His soft, content purr will remain in my head and in my heart forever as I do believe it was his way of saying good bye AND thank you, thank you for some of the best days of his life. Abner was content, happy, well loved and was able to receive in return that of which he shared and offered to so may others on the every day. Although his internal clock was ready to stop, his heart was not, as his heart was big and his heart was full. Thanks to him, my heart is now big and will from here on out remain full, as Abner reminds me of why it is we rescue. His life with us may not have been long BUT his life with us was long enough for me to know that he was truly rescued ~ mind, heart and soul. Rest in peace Dear Abner and know that you touched many, many hearts in your time with us... ~ Janet M.

Andre' the Giant-Hearted Kitten
The first of the year rolls around and I decide to contact some of our fosters, asking them for updates on their pets. Chris has been fostering Windy and her litter. This is a long-term situation because Windy tested positve for FLV. We won't know if her kittens are positive until they are old enough to be tested. This is the reply I recieve: "I'm a little not myself and unproductive feeling today because late afternoon yesterday I took Andre' to the vet for his FLV test and to find out why Andre' is having trouble breathing. I was so happy when the tech came to me and said Andre's test came up negative. But then the vet wanted to x-ray Andre's chest. After a little while she came back into the room and said she wanted to show me something on his x-ray. And what she showed me was a chest filled with fluid and a 95% chance of it being FIP (peritinitus). Now I had to make a decision I've never had to make before in my life. Whether or not to take this presious little kitten's life from it right now or maybe wait to see if a miracle happens, a true miracle according to the vet. And if I wait, how much more suffering am I supposed to make this little angel endure before I then try and make that terrible, fateful, fatal decision to end his life and his suffering. And even though the vet told me what she would do if put in my place, and that I was making the right and best decision, that knowledge made it no easier. I feel I must tell you a little about my Andre'. I named him after "Andre' the giant". One of the biggest men in the world who became even more famous for his wrestling. Now, I'm no wrestling fan, but I am an Andre' the giant" fan. And when my Andre' was just 10 or 12 days old I could easily tell he was the biggest of the bunch. But the main reason for his name was he liked to wrestle everyone. Even me. I'd sometimes pick him up to keep him from beating up one of his littermates too much and he would continue wrestling, now wrestling my hand ~ the amazing thing is he never hurt me or drew blood. He was always very gentle. Gentle but strong. The little guy just wanted to show the world he was big enough and bad enough to take it on. Even at 12 days old! And he never stopped being this way, that is until he started having trouble breathing. And at the end he was maybe half the size of his littermates. He made that dramatic change in the 10 days I was gone for Christmas. I had made up my mind after I had to put Andre down that I was gonna call Jackie and tell her "no more... I just can't foster anymore." Because I can't deal with this pain again. And you know this is gonna happen again and again over time. But when I read what you wrote about there being "too many people protecting themselves from the possibility of emotional hurt, and as a result all over the country we have healthy pets euthanized", that just reminded me why I volunteer. Because there is TOO MANY PEOPLE WHO WON'T! And hopefully I can make a difference, and make better, in the few animals lives I touch. Chris W.